All Through the Night

There are these moments when you feel incredibly lucky and at the same time, completely terrified.  Two weeks ago my little one had surgery.  The idea of general anesthesia was scary, but not as scary as not doing something about the problem.  That was until we actually had to go through with it.  Of course I was nervous but being a mom, you can't show that. You set the baseline for your little one. It was finally time to go into the OR and I was allowed to go in there until she was asleep.  The moment she left my arms and was placed gently on the operating table I noticed an expression on her face I had never seen before.  Fear, clear as day painted over her tiny face. My heart broke into so many pieces. I struggled to remember the words to her favorite song, and can't remember what I rambled on about instead. She looked helplessly at the strangers in white buzzing about her as I tried to keep her gaze. The mask was placed on her face and she started to panic, I tried telling her it would be okay, wishing what every parent wishes at the slightest sign of suffering.  Wish it was me and not her.  She cried desperate little sobs into the mask and faded to sleep. I don't think I could ever scrub the memory.   Seeing her go limp so suddenly sent chills down my back and the nurse had to tap my shoulder after calling my name repeatedly to leave the room.  I felt numb except for the heat rising from the pit of my stomach and getting lodged in my throat.  My legs took on an autopilot stride right past my husband in the the waiting room and out the door to the parking lot. To the cold air that could help to make me feel something other than dread.  I tried hard not to cry but i couldn't keep it in anymore. All that strength I feigned to have-- vanished. 

Back in the waiting room. Finally they called my name and I could have flown at the nurse, I got up so quickly.  Once in the recovery area I followed the siren cry of my child, whose visceral screams were almost unrecognizeable. She looked like a terrified wild animal. Trying to pull out the IV, the heart rate monitor lighting up her big toe. The patch covering her wound. I could barely hold on to her. Screaming, thrashing, biting. Who was this unconsolable little thing? She managed to rip the IV out, her arms were flailing so much it was as though she had five of them.  I held her tight and somehow found the words to "The very hungry caterpillar" escaping my lips. She settled at the sound of the familiar. A small reprieve of comfort. Silence. Until I forgot the order in which the Caterpillar ate junk food on Saturday and she burst into another fit "that's not how it goes!" 

"The Gruffalo" followed and I could feel her finally relaxing into my arms. Thank God I've memorized her favorite stories. I recited it all the way to the end, despite her having drifted off to sleep.  She looked like my kid again. 

Nothing could have prepared us for that. Nothing can prepare you to see your child in distress. It lingers.  We felt lucky everything went as planned. We felt lucky it was not something more serious. We felt lucky it was over.  Until we find ourselves two weeks later coping with severe separation anxiety, tantrums and episodes akin to night terrors. Maybe she had a bad dream.  I get on google again, start entering the words "post operative anxiety toddler".  

Next up, helping her through this part of recovery, which I had no idea to expect.  

xx

Building Blocks

It's always so refreshing when sensible footwear gets a chic spin and is cool again. Shoe lovers, rejoice! I never thought I'd be into a low heel, but what's the point of having style if it's not evolutionary? The fun part is in finding a way to make it yours. 

Spring is here and the hunt is on for the perfect day to evening sandal. Below are a few contenders from fun and whimsical to glamorous bling, and a few understated chic ones in between for good measure.  So hard to pick just one...

From the top: Gucci, Mansur Gavriel, Aquazzura, Aquazzura, Acne, MiuMiu, MiuMiu, See By Chloe, Marni all available at netaporter.com

From the top: Gucci, Mansur Gavriel, Aquazzura, Aquazzura, Acne, MiuMiu, MiuMiu, See By Chloe, Marni all available at netaporter.com

How to wear + where to buy

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These heels are super versatile, and instantly makes you look put together, reminiscent of a feminine 60s vibe in a decidedly modern way and without feeling overly serious.  I'll be wearing mine with frayed hem cropped jeans to give my denim a cool polish.  

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Xx

Grand Entrance

Our hectic lifestyle is much improved by organized and tidy spaces. Walking into my apartment with nowhere to store mountains of shoes was not just an eyesore but a hazard (imagine our stroller rolling over a rough shoe terrain-- daily). I am finally making strides in my foyer with a few updates I've long been considering. First, a chic and clever way to hide the shoes in our entry.  This walnut console would make for a fantastic focal point in a living room, but I really wanted a different feeling when I walked in the door than a shoe rack.  Down the line, it may have a different life in a different room depending on how our family's needs change, which is why investment pieces should not only be beautiful and functional but have an element of timelessness. Can't wait for the next few tweaks to the space which will include updating the wall color and lighting. Looking forward to sharing before and after shots with you!

xx

Common Sense

it's been a while since I've written but how apt that it is once again fall and I am once again obsessing over burgundy.  Getting over my predictability for a moment, I can share my excitement over my newest Bordeaux obsession. Breaking these in the first few days was a little painful, but well worth it.  The leather is exquisite, and the color is super saturated.  Once worn in these are one of the most comfortable shoes I own. 

The sneaker trend paired with elevated basics is still in full effect this Spring, and I am sure well into Summer so take advantage of the ability to have comfort and style and find the chic trainers that speak to you!

Woman by Common Projects

Woman by Common Projects

how to wear + where to buy

Adidas Stan Smiths, Woman by Common Projects, Chuck Taylor High Tops

Adidas Stan Smiths, Woman by Common Projects, Chuck Taylor High Tops

Whether you pair them with skirts, pants or dresses, the proportion of showing the ankle is quite fresh. I've preferred midi length knit dresses this Winter for a relaxed but polished feel. When it got really cold I went the other extreme and paired my sneaks with ultra long oversized pants.

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the wrap up

Finally, before I wrap it up, I think it's nice to share the secret underpinnings that make outfits work. If you ever wonder and I didn't beat you to the punch regarding these critical tidbits, leave a comment!  For these sneakers I've stocked up on Uniqlo's basic Footsies.  3 pairs for $12.50 guarantees the cleanest look with ankle bearing kicks.  These also have a grip on the back that keeps the socks on, and not migrating off of your foot while walking (which is the worst).  The ones that provide most coverage on the top of the foot will protect you from discomfort with the laces. Points for comfort. 

Xx

Beautiful Bordeaux


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Bordeaux has long been a wonderful Fall color. It looks amazing on every skin tone, and in almost any medium, from clothes and accessories to lip color or nail polish. Season after season I see a form of burgundy make it's way to the fashion forefront, and although it may vary in its undertone, it's always one of my favorite go to "non-color" colors. 

Autumn is a great time to play with shades of plum.  A hint of it can speak volumes via nail polish.  Weather permitting (it was 70 degrees in NYC yesterday!) you can still wear your strappy sandals to expose your favorite Fall lacquers with a polished pedi. Essie's Wicked or Opi's Lincoln Park After Dark are in constant rotation for me.  And though the color is strong enough to make a vibrant statement, it can also be quite romantic.  Soften the wine palette by wearing it with a pink toned nude or camel.  Once the days start getting colder and daylight savings kicks in, we tend to opt for a darker moodier combinations. Opt for black for a cool edge, while wine and navy make a stellar pair for a more sophisticated take on this very versatile hue.

xx

Skin Deep


One of the most difficult things to keep up in early mamahood has been a skin regimen. When you barely have 5 minutes to yourself in one day, it is difficult to choose where to allocate that  time.  Now, I don't know if it's the lack of sleep or stress, but my skin is looking a little worse for wear (bags much?), and after nine months of radiance, it feels like a hard fall from grace.  I decided to amp up my skin care routine and really take the five minutes to nurture my skin again. I know I've been negligent in the past, but I have a feeling I can't put off showing my skin the love it deserves any longer!  The funny thing is, once I decided to take the time, it has become a luxurious treat I welcome after a hard day.

My utmost favorite skin product is the Amore Pacific hydrating gel.  It's the one product I did not give up while pregnant.  I was on the fence about using a gel because I thought it would feel too sticky or uncomfortable, but it's so amazing.  It is light and cool and I feel moisturized all day, especially in the winter when the elements and indoor heating are at their worst.  

A word of caution to those pregnant or nursing, check the ingredient list on skincare or makeup items to make sure they are safe to use, since some ingredients get absorbed into the bloodstream.  If I was unsure about something, I erred on the side of caution and just avoided it.  For more info on safe skincare during pregnancy click here.  

Clockwise: Kiehl's Rare Earth Deep Pore Daily Cleanser, Kiehl's Rare Earth Pore Refining Toner, Natura Bisse Balancing Complex, Hero Item: Amore Pacific Hydra-Gel, Natura Bisse Eye Recovering Balm.

 

xx

Sweater Weather

sweater weather

WEEKEND LUXE: I love heather grey sweatshirts.  I have been guilty of stealing my husband's sweaters from time to time, because there is something sexy about wearing something cozy and oversized.  Which is just the way to wear the sweatshirt. Note to the wearer: ironically, wearing oversized items requires the perfect fit; the shoulder seam should be a bit dropped and make sure the hem fits at the hip, the ribbing should not be too tight and not too loose, avoiding an awkward bell situation. It has to fit just right (forgive the Goldilocks reference here, the book is currently in story time rotation).  Balance the looseness of the sweatshirt with black suede leggings, cool sneakers and a pop of color by way of a fabulous accessory.  

Baby: Mayleg Badger, Comotomo Teether, Hero Item: Mini Rodini Circus Pug Sweatshirt, Baby Gap Skinny Pants, Maa' Sneakers 

For Mama: Isabel Marant Beckett SneakersHero Item: Givenchy Tri-Tone Leather Tote, American Vintage Suede Leggings, Marcus Lupfer Drip Lip Sweatshirt

xx

Autumnal Reverie

There is something undeniably sexy about the beginning of Fall.  Maybe it's the "less is more" ideology and leaving a bit more to the imagination as we start layering up.  There is also the promise of soul warming comfort foods and the rich vibrant colors of autumnal foliage.  I am not one for cold weather, but these few things actually make me welcome the season.

A statement coat.  Nothing exemplifies the decadence of fall like a luxe fur.  Wear it over a tee shirt and jeans å la Kate Moss, who reigns queen of effortless cool. 
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A luxe throw.  Need I say more? 
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Whimsical baby gear is a guilty pleasure in the winter months. 

 

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xx